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How About You?

Everybody wants someone around them who needs to be changed. Mostly they are close relatives or friends.

-Can you hypnotize my husband to stop smoking? or,

-Can you hypnotize my daughter-in-law? or,

-Can you hypnotize my ……………(fill in the blank with a close relationship)?

I am sure that all hypnotists have been asked this type of question. Generally, people who found out that I am a hypnotist start asking questions like that.

Everybody wants someone around them who needs to be changed. Mostly they are close relatives or friends. Everybody complains about something or somebody.

When I am asked these questions, I smile. I know that something is bothering this person who doesn’t know how to deal with it. If you listen to people very carefully, they say a lot about themselves, unconsciously, especially about their issues. When you discover the main issue,  it is easier to help them.

We can’t help people if they don’t want help. Nobody can help them unless they want it. So, when I meet a person like that, I try to show the person nicely that the only person in charge of becoming emotionally free is him-self / her-self.

I do this is by asking the right questions.

Asking the right questions is as important as listening carefully. When you ask questions, it makes that person think!

When they start thinking, they start questioning more about themselves or about the issues. When they ask more questions than they will think more. Eventually, they will discover answers.

Usually, clients don’t know where to start. Asking smart questions is a big help for starting.

I want to explain this with my own experience.

I met a middle-aged lady in the gym. During our chat, she learned that I am a hypnotist. Her first question was “Can you hypnotize my daughter-in-law?”

I smiled and said:

“Do you think she needs to change something about herself?”

“Yes, of course “she replied.

“What do you think she needs to change?”

“Well, She has 45 credit cards”

In fact, there is an issue there but it is not our concern.

“What does she think about it?” I asked.

“Oh, she is happy with them.”

“How about your son?”

“He doesn’t care,” she answered.

I think we have some information here.

“Does it bother you?”

“Yes, of course, it bothers me.”


And, she starts thinking and thinking and thinking…

I wasn’t waiting for an answer. Actually, I knew the answer already. I wanted her to discover the answer her-self.

She had one of my business cards. And called me in a week. This time, she asked me “Can you please hypnotize me?”.

Again, I asked a question. “Why do you want  me to hypnotize  you ?”

Also, it is very important for success to have an informed client. The client and I should make sure we are both on the same page. That is why good questioning is extremely important. This client came to this discovery as a result of professional questioning.

Inner questions and inner answers are almost always hurtful. This is the biggest reason clients don’t want to face problems or choose to deny them.

Now the hypnotist is on duty to help the informed client set her-self / him-self free from negative habits or thoughts or actions.

As I mentioned earlier, it is very important to inform clients about the process. My experience has shown me that the best way to inform clients is by asking questions and making them think. It is not always easy, like this lady I just mentioned. Most people, especially men, have a  hard time describing feelings. This technique is effective in this situation too.

Now, another important question is “what should a hypnotist ask?”

Hypnotist needs to be “client-oriented”. First, hypnotists have to understand the real issues that are bothering clients. Again, asking questions and listening to them very carefully are the only ways to found out the real issues. Don’t guess. Ask questions.

Hypnotist shouldn’t forget that questions are for discovering feelings, especially the root feelings that cause the issue. Ask them:

“What do you think…………?” or

“How do you feel about it?” or

“Why is it important for you?”

These questions are not easy to answer. You will notice that clients will be silent for a moment. Be patient. Ask your questions one at a time. Listen to the answers very carefully. Each answer will guide you to the next question.

Everybody wants to be understood. Hypnotist will really understand their clients. Trust will develop between hypnotist and clients. This trust is necessary for successful hypnosis sessions. When client trusts hypnotist they will open up more. When they are open, they will get maximum benefits from the session and that is everybody’s goal.

We, humans, are always looking for outer things or people or circumstances that need to be fixed. Then everything will be great in life. When people understand that answers or keys for a better life are within, they will stop trying to change other people. We can help them by asking easy questions. “How about you?”

Lily Lale Yilmaz
October 28th, 2014
New York

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